seriously,

i dont know what to write. blogs are pretty gay i dont know why i have one. its because natalie made me. but i like it.

this break has been super weird.
i've been way too scandalous and so fucked up in many ways.
maybe its because i was trying to fill some void thats just not fillable. but now ive accepted that.
i've been a terrible person lately.
the funny thing is, (for lack of a better word...) is that they have absolutely no idea what happened.
i guess that makes me a bitch, but i hardly care.
there has been too much drama. im so sick of it. at least its over.
i just want to chill.
i dont know what to do with myself.
i need alone time, but i cant be alone.
its posing quite the issue.

perhaps 2010 will be tamer. although i highly doubt that. i want to go back to school.
i dont want to be here anymore, my break is too long. i need to leave.
i mentally regurgitate bile at the very thought of being with you.
i am sorry for the shit ive done and said, though. sorry sorry sorry.

how many more times can i say dont? lets make this positive maybe? i am happy, im just having an off day because of some stuff.

i do like that im getting a fatty pay check soon.
i do like that its a new year and that a lot of new things have found me already, this early in the year.
i do love my friends.

mew.